Easy | Book Review

Easy by Tammara Webber

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Oh Goodreads, you failed me this time. As a writer, I feel bad for what I'm about to do. But as a reader, it seems necessary to tell the truth, no matter how painful. And I just can see my literary snob friend Zach (I mean that affectionately, Zach, if you're reading. Okay, go away now...) judging me and rolling his eyes as this pops up on his feed - like, look at the cover! What did you expect?! Well, I expected a low budget indie book with a poor marketing team but a precious literary gem inside because friends of mine gave it five stars.

Warning: this is the harshest review I've ever given. In summary, this book was TERRIBLE. File it under DANA READ THIS BOOK SO I DON'T HAVE TO.

Actually file it under: DON'T READ THIS BOOK, READ THE SEA OF TRANQUILITY INSTEAD. (I read The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay. It blew me away. I died a thousand beautiful deaths of love for that book and wanted to read something similar. Girl suffers attack. Boy has dark and twisty past involving lots of death. Boy and Girl heal themselves and each other. Laughter and pain and love love love. TSoT did this well. Easy should've been lit on fire before hitting a publisher's desk...to put it mildly.

Writing Technique: ★ None. Honestly, Webber is the worst writer I've ever read. (Including some horribly cheesy romantic Christian fiction.) Some of the most basic good writing techniques were completely absent. Things like show, don't tell. So many times I observed as Jacqueline strung all the pieces of the plot together for us, explaining easily what we should be figuring out. Don't believe me? (These are examples from two consecutive chapters near the end because they are the freshest in my mind, but I assure this is a consistent problem throughout.)

Pg. 287 My eyes stung. No wonder his father had shut down. From what Dr. Heller told me, Ray Maxfield was a logical, analytical person. His only emotional exception must have been his wife. 
You can't really know that, Jacqueline. You're telling me what to think, and I don't like it. 
 
Pg. 288 His grief was so tangible. I knew in that moment that he hadn't worked through it--not at all in the eight years it had been. His protective wall had become a fortress holding him hostage rather than giving sanctuary. he might never fully recover from the horror of what happened that night, but there had to be a point where it wouldn't consume him. 
Over-sharing much? Yeah some of those words are pretty, but this outright statement means less to me than if I'd put it together on my own based on a stronger narrative voice. 
 
Pg. 300 As I stroked his hair and held him tight, I knew this night had struck a chord at the heart of his pain. What tormented Lucas went further than the horror of that night eight years ago. What haunted him was guilt, however insanely misplaced.
I might forgive this straight telling if Jackie had put it in the context of her own revelation, "I realized this must have tortured Lucas blah blah blah." But that never happens. Jackie doesn't realize things, she just gives it to you.

In my opinion, this is just lazy writing. Show, don't tell is rule no. 1. And it wasn't the only problem with the book. Obvious characterization. Predictable plot in absolutely every way. It's completely unimaginative. I'm starting to feel romance as a genre - forgive me my generalization, I know there are always exceptions - is breeding ground for this kind of authorial laziness. (I know, I know...I sound mean, don't I? Sorry. But it PISSED.ME.OFF.)

Plot/Story Development: ★★ While the bare-boned skeleton of this story is okay, the meat and muscle of it are what really sucked. I can appreciate a simple if predictable plot if the details are handled well and the prose is good. Alas, you know I don't appreciate this book.

This story has a very traditional romantic plot arc. Brokenhearted damsel in distress is rescued from soulless villain (obviously out to steal the damsel's "virtue" - whatever remains of it) by hunky tortured badboy knight in shining armor. Damsel (Jacqueline -- and can I just say...I hate characters ((and real people!)) who are sticklers over others using their full name. Nicknames/shortened names are a sign of affection and intimacy. Get over yourself...) and Knight (Lucas -- also known by a host of other names throughout) are thusly thrown together by a host of circumstances beyond their control until flirty texts and emails devolve into a chest-heaving, eye-rolling surrender to their lusty passions.

[Plot dev spills into character dev now...]

Character Development: ★★★ Damsel gets all fem-powered and learns to defend herself (although Knight continues to swoop in at the last moment just to make sure all baddies are sufficiently man-squashed). Knight, sensitive stud that he is, has demons of the past and secrets of the present - to match those sexy tats and lip ring - which he learns to relieve and release through the power of their Most Epic Love-Lust. And together -- they find The True Meaning of Christmas! or whatever...

[We interrupt this scathing sarcasm for a moment of truth: Jacqueline is an idiot -- kind of. I feel bad for her. But she's slow and kind of annoying. I don't think this because of her actions, because she really didn't do anything wrong. It's not her fault she gets attacked/stalked. But based on her narrative, her "inner monologue" (both of which is a reflection of the author's lack of writing technique)...she's a moron. I'm glad she got all fem-powered in the end. But I hated being in her head. And Lucas had a lot of traits of real good guys I know...but in the end, he's just a caricature of the Romantic Hero...even with all his baggage. It's resolved too easily. It doesn't feel genuine. Hence...all the mockery.]

Message/Theme: ★★★ This book gets points for message (not very many, obviously, but some). Rape/assault is a very serious thing, and I appreciate the author trying to awaken her readers to its danger and inspire them to be proactive.

Theme: love heals all wounds. Love, lust, victimization, empowerment, healing, friendship, .... aaaaaaand not much else. There really isn't much going on here besides the whole "Don't get raped, but if you do, it's not your fault" vibe.

Rating: R. Very R. Possibly NC-17, but I'm not exactly sure what that would entail because I've never seen one. This book is basically erotica or really close (I'm not technically sure, because I don't read that genre - on purpose.) Also much swearing, some violence, and as always thematic elements.

[PS: My hatred of my book is not even about the graphic and profuse sexual content, although that's why I can't even say, "Yeah, try it out. maybe you'll like it." I think no one should read this book. Zero redeeming value. But my hatred of this book is based solely on the lazy, uninspired, dear-god-how-the-heck-did-you-even-get-this-published poor quality of writing.]

Overall: ★ If I've offended you with this review because you thought this book was some undiscovered masterpiece, all I have to say is - get out and read some other freaking books! Most of my reviews are not this mean, but I feel like I'm healing myself from this traumatic reading experience just by writing this, and hopefully I've spared someone else. Let me know if I spared you.



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Arranged | Book Review

Arranged by Catherine McKenzie

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I heard about this book from my husband actually. A conversation about love and marriage and friendship naturally led to one about arranged marriages and how "falling in love" and then getting married is a fairly new custom. For centuries people were matched and marriage and learned to love each other without the fading infatuation, the lust, the emotional roller-coaster. As an American girl in the 21st century, that idea sounds completely alien and undesirable. Anyway, he said there was a new novel about this from a modern perspective that might help me see the benefits of marrying someone compatible to you without the dating or drama. So I checked it out.

This book is about Anne Blythe - unlucky in love - when she contacts a private marriage broker to arrange a stranger husband for her. Her adventure into an arranged marriage is the direct result of her shallow, lusty interest in Men of a Certain Type and her jealous, self-indulgent Need for a Fairy Tale Ending. She meets and marries her match Jack. And of course everything is great... until it isn't.

(Sidenote: Her name is Anne Shirley Blythe! I'm not gonna lie, her name and her mother's obsession with all things Anne of Green Gables was definitely a warm fuzzy for me. Ann Shirley is the reason I became a reader and a writer, and she gave me my obsession with red hair.)

Writing technique: ★★ McKenzie's writing is simple. I'd recommend this for a vacation/beach read. Lit lite. I found the beginning fairly tedious and obvious. But it picked up pretty quickly and my interest in the plot overshadowed by disinterest in her actual words.

Character development: ★★★ Anne has a lot to learn. About men, but mostly about herself. I don't know that she learns her lesson though. But she does get over her shallow, looks-mean-everything ideas, but not really the fairy-tale-endings-are-realistic ideas. So... hmm.

Plot/Story development: ★★★ Most of the beginning I found pretty simplistic and predictable. But the one twist in the middle I did not see coming! The end was very rom-com paint-by-numbers obvious, but it was a cute read all in all.

Message/Theme: ★★★ Attraction and lust do not make a good relationship. Friendship and respect are a better foundation for a marriage. Liars and cheaters suck.

Overall: ★★★ This is good chick lit with a twist on what we consider normal marriages. Nice for a quick summer/beach read.



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